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WHEN IN ROME – SWALLOW!

Swallowing semen was a sign of machismo & masculinity in the roman army.
Ancient Rome where homosexuality was not just popular it was publicly applauded and a sign of strength and the more cock you had the more of a man you were. 600 years of gay rule but it was not to last forever.

Recently Historians have discovered that Ancient Romans and in particular their soldiers and gladiators thought that another man’s semen was an important body supplement – think like a 2000 year old version of Power Aid, a Maxi Muscle smoothie or Red Bull. This will come as great news to our many readers who can now legitimise a gym locker room blowie as officially part of their daily exercise but it does make us wonder why Drew Dixon or Jack Thompson are not yet Mr Universe winners. In Ancient Rome bum sex went from the very top of society down to the slaves at the base. In fact, Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar both had a taste for all-male sex. So did Mark Antony, so did Hadrian. This was also the same for all the famous Greeks that you have heard off basically absolutely every single man was into cock pure and simple.

It seems that according to our friends at GayPopBuzz who have researched the History on this that particularly in the Roman Legions which at its peak was 600,000 men which is one hell of a lot of daily ball sack fluid that masculinity was viewed in a very different light than today. Homosexuality was a sign of strength and was to be admired and was hugely publicly accepted like say Drag Race with better uniforms. Being with a man or indeed many men was not shunned in any way as women were seen as secondary and weaker.  Sucking a cock even in public was fine but that was just for fun and sexual gratification. Where it gets interesting is that the military men advised by their medical experts firmly and rightly believed that semen was very good for them, their bodies and especially muscle growth. 

Sucking the semen out of a group of fit centurions was a regular daily occurrence but what was shunned completely like say body glitter at IML was spitting the freely given man batter onto the sandy floor. Every drop had to be swallowed and this was no joke as if you did not swallow you were executed….maybe you need to read that again, swallow a couple of dozen loads you are a big man, a hero but spit or spill even a small drop and its the executioners blade. Size was everything (Isn’t it always) and the bigger the cock you sucked or the higher number you drained the more masculine you were which would be welcome news to the likes of Logan Moore. This is now a policy that has been adopted in the Alphatribe offices and will be mandatory at both Darklands and CLAW from 2021 onwards…..you spit you get ejected from the dark room.

We have written before in AT about the Top 10 best sources of natural protein which of course is the substance that all bodybuilders, porn stars and sportsmen take daily in shakes, smoothies or as part of their largely chicken, meat and fish diets. The number one was off course egg white which is a real bastard as it is naturally joined to egg yolk which is one of the most fattening things mother nature has provided us with which is a cruel trick of fate. Number two is off course spunk, semen, your manjuice, wad, load, babies, jizz etc whatever you choose to call it and we strongly advise for your health and a great body that you eat it and as much of it as you can regularly and often. This weird 1970’s craze for spitting out on the floor the real good stuff stops right here right now.

The Romans viewed homosexuality in a different way. Males had to be masculine and dominant and show it. If you were homosexual, you had to be in the dominant top role. If you were penetrated, it was socially unacceptable. In the Army taking it up the ass was even more unacceptable. This of course leads to the question as to what happened with 600K Givers and no receivers. It seems that the gap was ‘plugged’ if you pardon the pun by very sore male prostitutes (They did not have the term Escort then), male ‘entertainers’ and of course slaves whose bodies were classed as property and could be abused by as many military men as were in need of manhole…. we imaging Ashley Ryders ears have just pricked up. There was a further category which was young lads and as distasteful as it may seem to modern ethics but male youth was by far the most desired thing in ancient Rome and this was focused on those ageing between 12 and 20yo. By the time a Roman lad had reached 21 he had probably experienced more military cock than the first year newbies on a US Marines Corp base and that is really saying something.

The ancient Romans and also Greeks didn’t have our concept of gay and straight. Latin has a large and precise sexual vocabulary. See, for example: Irrumator, one who presents his cock for sucking; Fellator, one who sucks a large engorged manshaft; Pathicus, the passive partner in ass sex, Exoletus, the active partner; Cinaedus, a male prostitute; Catamitus, a boy prostitute or lover; Glabrarius, lover of smooth—skinned boys; Tribas, a woman with a clitoris large enough to serve as a penis – and so it continues. The Greek vocabulary is larger still. There is no word in either language that means “homosexual.” Sodomitus is a later word, brought in by the Christians, and may not have had its present meaning of one who likes to get fucked in the ass until deep into the Middle Ages.  

Then the shit hit the fan with those damn Christians and their pushy morals. Attitudes toward same-sex behaviour changed as Christianity became more prominent in the Empire in the 4th Century. The prosecution of male–male sex as a general crime began in the 3rd century when male prostitution was banned by Philip the Arab who was thought to be a serial cocksucker. A series of laws regulating male–male sex was promoted during the social crisis of the 3rd century, from the statutory rape of minors to marriage between males which had been allowed and was pretty prolific especially in the Roman military ranks. Many of those laws were to last 1500 years until the last couple of decades with the rightful exception of sex with minors.

By the end of the 4th century, anally passive men under the Christian Empire were punished by burning (That is not a misprint). “Death by sword” was the punishment for a “man coupling like a woman” under the Theodosian Code. It is in the 6th century, under Justinian, that all male–male sex, passive or active, no matter who the partners, was declared contrary to nature and punishable by death or eating a pussy whichever you consider worse. Male–male sex was pointed to as cause for God’s wrath following a series of disasters around 542 and 559 and we are still blamed for shit like floods today by religious leaders who still mentally live in the 5th Century AD.

So there we have it, Rome was a great place to be for 600 years if you were into cock and in particular very large masculine macho military cock and eating a man’s seed was higher up the list of delicacies than say caviar or truffles and as we have tasted all 3 we can clearly say that spunk is by far the best tasting and of course the best for you. As fans of Dr Who if ever you get to meet him and are offered a trip in his time machine the legendary Tardis maybe politely tell him to stuff all his exotic planets and spaceship destinations in the future and turn the console dial back to a garrison in Ancient Rome and just drop to your knees and go with military flow but you have been warned don’t even consider spitting even if your mouth is overflowing after the 25th horse hung military cock. Just gulp it down and think of the glory of Caesar 7 Rome. Alphatribes requests of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and his buddy Dave Bautistato see  if this has helped their huge fantastic muscle growth and testerone heights have not yet been answered…we will let you know on that one but it seems highly likely going by the information above that they have never spat once in the last 10 years. It will make your next viewing of Gladiator very different when you know what Russell Crowe is up to every night he steps off the battlefield or out of the Coliseum and how he easily got over the death of his wife by chowing down on a battalion of veiny uniformed cock meat. 

Master

Written by Paul Stag

Paul is an international porn star and a long time editor for Alphatribe magazine.

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