For 50 years we have had the gay fetish hanky code, and it has served us faggots well. But is it still fit for purpose in today’s fetish world?
Over the past five years there have been several attempts to update the hanky code to reflect current gay sexual practices, fetishes, and the casual hook-up world of this new millennium. Is it still relevant, is it more important than ever, and how have our sex lives changed over half a century? Before we take a look at the movement to update the hanky code, let’s rewind to see how it came about.
Back in the 1950s and 60s it was tough to be gay, and even tougher to be an out and gay fetish man. There were no phone hook-up lines, mobiles, websites, or apps. Even gay venues were, at best, hidden. So how could a horny top find that perfect ass for the night? And even tougher, how would you go about finding a guy that was into fisting and piss? You could look unsuccessfully for a very long time. Even worse, how did you spot whether a guy was gay or not in the pre ‘gaydar’ era? And if you got it wrong, gay bashing was about as common as a Trump voter with an IQ in single figures. What’s more, being gay was illegal in most countries and you could get fired. Even when laws changed, many attitudes remained decades behind.