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Tom Cruise’s gayest scenes

#9 Endless Love

Tom’s first movie, made when he was a cute 18 year old. You will be shocked by the shortest ripped denim shorts in history. Even Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazard, or Kylie in her Spinning Around video, would claim that they show too much ass cheek. But not our teenage Tom. Warning: Be prepared for the weirdest voice in cinema history (outside of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins) when you hear Tom in this film. There is high pitched, there is Bjork, there are the Chipmunks, and there are fingernails down a chalkboard. But nothing compares to this film where his character, Ethan Hunt, seems to have his balls caught in a very aggressive fetish vice. Your dog will start barking for sure. You have been warned!

#10 Top Gun

Yes, it’s back on this list for a third time. Has there ever been a straight scene that has looked gayer than the two-minute beach volleyball scene here? The all-male military teams are just in their Speedos, oiled up, suntanned, and with loads of visible sweat in front of 30 topless hairy dudes. The macho bonding is off the hook. So let’s all put our arms around each other and have the inevitable butt slapping. So, so straight – not! If we were making an out and out gay film we would veto this scene as too blatantly and obviously gay. We are not sure that all members of the American military are gay but it seems that most of them do have a healthy interest in their colleagues asses judging from this film. The song playing in this scene is by 80s rocker Kenny ‘Footloose’ Loggins and it’s called ‘Playing with the Boys’!!!!!! Give us strength! Look away now, nothing queer going on here.

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Written by Paul Stag

Paul is an international porn star and a long time editor for Alphatribe magazine.

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