The Guinness Book of World Records lists American actor Jonah Falcon as the man with the largest penis. It reportedly measures 13.5 inches (34.9 cm) and has piqued the interest of adult filmmakers around the globe. He apparently caused a security alert at San Francisco airport where it took five security guards and border patrol agents to confirm it was not a dangerous weapon. Reports that they did this thoroughly with their mouths, hands, and asses might be exaggerated but we can’t be sure. Cutler X is now thinking of investing in a vacuum pump or penis enlargement.