A JACUZZI FOR YOUR TESTICLES, PORN STUDIO XMAS DECORATIONS OR VEGAN LEATHER whats gonna be under your tree?
For some of us visiting our favourite sex stores this year to buy the boyfriends Christmas present or something naughty for ourselves maybe a tad difficult due to Covid. That said, what to buy anyway – Alphatribe have searched high and low across the Worldwide wanking web for some great ideas and the hottest purchases from your favourite brands during the Fall of 2020. Therefore, here is your advent calendar of gift ideas to get you through December to the happiest day of the year when Santa or your partner empty their bulging sacks in your living room Christmas morning to make you happy. (Everything can be shipped Worldwide).
DAY 1 SPITFIRE Leather fragrance £37.95 – the only thing better than the natural smell of a working man is a carefully designed leather smelling bottled body smell to keep you aroused anywhere anytime even in the Office.
DAY 2 FORT TROFF Magno Bull 69.00 Euros – really heavy engraved ball stretcher – possibly the best looking and heaviest ball stretcher on the market, a beautiful addition to any playroom. (There really useful mega simple bed bondage at 65 Euros is an absolute must too)
DAY 3 BATHMATE Hydromax 7 blue penis pump £69.00 – The ultimate and revolutionary ‘just add water’ jerk off device for use in the shower or bath for the best orgasms on planet earth whilst you have underwater play.
DAY 4 LOVEBOTZ Milker automatic AE371 Deluxe stroker £528 – The best man milking machine on the market this side of a local dairy farm. Will fit and endlessly drain cocks up to 11″ x 8.25″ so will fit everyone from over endowed Rocco Steele & Rhyheim Shabazz right down to guys with pinsize pricks like Tucker Carlson or Nigel Farage.
DAY 5 MISTER S Leather and Tan 9 puppy hood $369.95 – From the biggest puppy store in the World this great looking puppy mask is the must have for every hound this Winter. With this you can enter Crufts and will almost certainly win.
DAY 6 ELLYHOME sexy gay cowboy shirtless light $38.89 – A nice novelty item that is great to have on your bedside table between the lube, poppers, your Fleshjack and goliath dildo and will nicely glisten off last nights wank tissues or jizz sock.
DAY 7 DOC JOHNSON BUST IT Squirting realistic cock $30.30 – All the rage in 2020 dildos that squirt juice into your ass when required. You can use lube, water or some cum you have collected and refridgerated – alternatively any liquid you want to feel fucked into your ass from Mayo to Motor Oil.
DAY 8 MR RIEGILLIO Vegan Leather Orange stripe tracksuit pants 89.95 Euros – For the animal loving fetish man who wants to look good then Vegan leather is here and the star team at our favourite fetish sports store is ahead of the game as always.
DAY 9 MR HANKY Cutler X Dildo in black (what else) $154.95 – Winner of Sex Toy of the year at the most recent World Fetish Awards there are a number of porn star dildo’s out there so as you can be fucked by your favourite guy every night. Buy from the best online/street stores or the star himself who may throw in something extra like signed pics or worn underwear if you ask nicely.
DAY 10 NASTY PIG Union Suit $119 – In several colours these great mega comfortable fetish onesies have buttons everywhere you would expect to find zips, look and feel great. The perfect thing for lazing around waiting for shags to turn up during the Holidays.
DAY 11 CREATIVE CONCEPTIONS The Path To Pleasure board game £16.99 – Christmas is meant for games and this sexually oriented one is great with very explicit questions on every square. ‘With three stages of excitement the game starts by awakening desire, moves through anticipation, building warmer challenges until it explodes in a crescendo of passion and pleasure’……or alternatively the same 3 levels of the first 30 minutes in a Berlin dark room.
DAY 12 TOF Paris 3D Masks – The must have item of 2020 but why get a mask just for Covid when you can buy one that gets you through the pandemic and will fit and look great in any dark room for many years to come afterwards. Masks have always been welcome in dark rooms for look as much as anything Washable and top quality from The Retailer Of The Year at The World Fetish Awards.
DAY 13 ELECTASTIM Bi-Polar Leather spanking paddle £79.00 – A bit of electro always livens up any fetish session and this new paddle which adds a bit of spark to every time you beat an ass is a must have – adapt the strength of the beating and the sixe of charge for hours of variable fun to turn any Grinch into a happy red arsed Elf.
DAY 14 HAIRY BASTARD Leather beard oil $17.99 – From the most well-known fetish grooming company out there the choice of beard oil scents is up to you…we love this one but the cigar smoking one is fucking great too.
DAY 15 TREASUREISLANDMEDIA Christmas Ornaments $14.95 – The sleaziest gay porn studio out there now in their 23rd year sells absolutely everything besides films and these are a must with their engraved ‘Cum All Ye Faithful’ tag line they are perfect. Whislt on the site grab the superb logo’d frosted cum shot glasses for tequila or indeed man baby batter at your festive sex parties.
DAY 16 MISTER B Hardware Ball Crusher 29.95 Euros – Great uncomplicated fantastic industrial looking bollock crusher and ballbuster with ring hook for ball weights. Sometimes the simplest designs are the best.
DAY 17 FAB FUNKY PILLOWS Fetish pet pillows 53.00 Euros – For the animal lovers Muir cap wearing fetish dressed pet cushions for every sofa or dungeon.
DAY 18 SINNOVATOR Dagon depth training tentacle £79.99 – From the most unique new looking sex toy company this is their flagship item and boy does it go in a real REAL long way and those suction cups are to die for…we have one and would not trade it for a week with Austin Wolfs cock or Liam Hemsworth’s ass.
DAY 19 BOXER puppy round singlet in Blue $79.85 – Boxer have made their name with unique designed gear which has taken Europe by storm. This almost wrestling singlet but for pups looks perfect on every dog or handler and should be a big seller.
DAY 20 CARTOON PORTRAIT gay couples portrait 38.89 Euros – Personalised gifts always show you care rather than shopping at the local garage on Christmas Eve. These great drawings of you and your beau (with your animals possibly) in such locations as the Simpsons sofa is something you and your loved one will treasure. Nothing wrong with fun at the holidays with your clothes on too.
DAY 21 FLESHJACK quickshot launch stamina training unit butt pack 307.00 Euros – We all have our favourite FJ play device for the pleasure of emtying our huge shafts daily but this new jerk off device is unique with one end being a mouth and the other an ass. About to become the industry standard.
DAY 22 HIS SMITH auto thrusting fuck machine $269.99 – Wireless remote controlled makes it a cut above all the others so as you can carry on abusing some subs man hole at whatever rates & speeds you want whilst you are at dinner, cleaning the car, in the park or down your local leather bar. fucking someone else……the possibilities for permanant gaping subs are endless.
DAY 23 NEXUS Eclipse vibrating stroking modulator £84.99 – The biggest item of the season 9Think Cabbage patch doll, Trivial Pursuit or Buzz Lightyear) from the great reliable brand we have all come to love this is the one that everyone is buying and for good reason.
DAY 24 XMAS EVE – MISTER S Covert Shower Shot $31.16 – The useful innovative shower adaptor attachment which means no more changing your shower or bath fittings when your straight/female friends come to visit and it makes your douche set up unoticeabe and realy simplifies things for you. We just want clean asses and unembarrassed guests and now that is possible to have both. Every hotel, B&B, home, army base, police station, building site should have one – no more need to call the plumber everytime..unless of course you want him to fuck you up the ass in his work gear to straighten your own pipes out.
DAY 25 XMAS DAY – THE TESTICUZZI $99.85 – the Worlds first jacuzzi for your ball sack. You can now treat your crown jewels to a daily treat and send your sperm production through the roof as well as prepare your cum cherries for some serious ball crushing or ballbusting. Comes in Jet black with a padded cushion to rest your cock on. Your cock and balls are the most important part of every AT readers life which is why you jerk them off 6 times a day every day since you grew pubic hair at the age of 13 so it is time to look after them properly.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION 2021 – As soon as safely instructed to visit twice as many gay sex shops, saunas, circuit parties, events, bars and clubs as ever before. Your sex life has been lockdown for very long periods so time to get back out there and make up for lost time whilst supporting our gay fetish business’s, locations and promoters. Book new events and try new places with the money you have saved not partying in 2020:the year of Covid as 2021 will be the Official Chinese Year Of The Fetish Fuck Pig so time to start spreading your seed and legs far and wide again.