ENGLISH LEATHER MASTER (MATTHEW)
I’ve been involved in leather and BDSM for well over a decade. Over most of that time, the interactions I had with others in the community were either in private or at fetish clubs. Over the last three years, I’ve built an online presence as English Leather Master, which has had two effects: obviously, there’s been more exposure of me and what I do with others in the community, but also I’ve become more aware of others in the community and the effect that social media and porn have on people’s perception of BDSM.
In my day job, I’m a coach, coaching people who want more integrated lives to bring their sexuality or gender together with their relationships and work life. I’m also a hypnotherapist, working with people on everything from confidence building to mental health issues. In my night job, I’m an online content creator. Throughout lockdown I built an online community (alongside my boy and Mr Leather Wales) of kinky people who supported each other through twice-weekly Zoom meetings. I’ve been told these literally kept some people alive.
Throughout all of this, I’ve noticed that the amount of misinformation in the community is huge. The skewing of perception of what is and is not right, acceptable or normal online is immense – whether you’re talking about dick size, acceptable body shape, the amount of gear required to go to fetish events or the rules around what constitutes consent.
There are many people who look in on the BDSM world from the outside and are confused and baffled by everything. The people in porn (and who fill so many Twitter feeds) seem to be unobtainably beautiful and lead carefree lives shagging around the planet with other muscled adonises. BDSM is reduced to a bit of rope and a light spanking – or to extreme mutilation and frankly dangerous practices. The concept of relationship, connection, and dare I say, reality, seems entirely absent sometimes.
In this new written series, my aim is to challenge some of this confusion, and redress the vacuum in the discussion. I would like to offer my view of what domination is to help other would-be dominants in finding their way in the world. I want to be real and hopefully people will see that everything that I do is also possible for them, given a bit of time and effort. I’m mid-40s, I don’t have a six pack and my cock won’t be winning any awards for being massive. But, I have a great time living a truly connected life with my boy and other kinky people and I want to help people see how this can be done.
Whilst it’s possible for a dominant to discuss BDSM and for others to learn, to exclude submissives from the conversation seems to be like ignoring the ball when learning to serve in tennis. So, I’ve asked my own boy Paul, AKA English Leather Master’s sub, to join me in this discussion to offer his thoughts from the submissives perspective. A lot of you will have witnessed and read of his powerful journey over the last few years, and he can’t wait to get involved.
His thoughts will serve as a submissives’ input into topics for dominants. It’s also likely that this series will help and inform other submissives from his input, or at least offer his perspective.
So periodically in AlphaTribe we’ll be writing articles and looking at points of discussion and offer both perspectives. We’ll be looking at everything from presenting yourself online to protocols, the difference between images of events and the actual event, and how to stay safe when playing with new scene partners and lots more.
Our aims are simple. We aim to open a debate and let people see more than just a load of 2-minute 10-second clips of what is a lifetime of fetish experience, master and sub play.
ENGLISH LEATHER MASTER’S SUB (PAUL)
I was thrilled when Master asked me if I wanted to assist him with working to help give back to the community and help others.
Most people who know me from social media and in the BDSM and kink world will already know that I am open about all that I am and do. I feel like I found my true purpose in life as a lifestyle submissive when I met Master. Yet, being on social media myself, I often see so many things on there that distort the realities and are sometimes just outright irresponsible. I receive a huge number of messages from people asking me for my thoughts and opinions, some say that they want to be like me, and it has made me realise that I can use my platform to help others in a constructive and positive way.
My journey is very well documented on social media. I am open to everyone, and everybody sees everything. I don’t just mean sex, I mean my BDSM life and my relationship with Master. I have always been and class myself as a lifestyle submissive. By this, I mean that it has always been more than play for me and it is my purpose and my life. I was lucky enough to become owned by someone who understands me and has shown me how to live my best life ever as a BDSM lifestyle submissive and thoroughly embrace it. In these articles, I intend to take my early BDSM experiences, some of which were not good, and compliment that with where I am now and offer thoughts and perspectives on things. For me, it is important to help others.
Master has stated that this column will be mainly aimed at dominants. However, I believe that my input will help both dominants and subs who wish to learn about both sides. What I want to do is show people what BDSM is to me, talk about issues, and what being a lifestyle submissive is and help others on their journey and maybe avoid the same mistakes that I and others i know made.
There is always and alternate view. For example, if you look at twitter, it will be implied that us submissives should be able to take a fist to the elbow within thirty seconds or to accept a whipping that shreds the skin within the first meeting of a dominant man. I want to counter these beliefs and false images, or at least show that one has to work to get there, how to do it and that we, as individuals can discuss and say that is right for us despite the pressures of what we see on our computers and phones.
English Leather Master and boy.
@Englishleatherm – twitter
@englishleathermaster – insta
@Elmssub – twitter
@Elmssub – insta