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HOW GAY IS PRO-WRESTLING?

Two or even better 4 or 6 near naked sweaty muscular men rolling about on the floor grabbing every inch of the other guys body for most of an hour desperately trying to gain submission from the other bloke….. Wrestling is not a far cry from your local gay bars dark room on a Friday night but with more body lotion and smaller steroid cocks. Here is the Top 20 holds and throws according to the Official International Wrestling Associations from one of our favourite macho sports where guys spend longer in the ring than our editor’s fist; and boy does it all sound as gay as Lady Gaga and Rupaul working the Fort Troff dildo booth at IML.

20 Screwjob
19 The Mounted Position
18 Cross Body Splash
17 Inverted Rear Naked Choke
16 Back Fist Punch
15 The Flip
14 Assisted Piledriver
13 Throat Thrust
12 The Sliding Forearm
11 Blow Off
10 Jerk The Curtain
9 The Dirt Sheet
8 The Stretched Plum
7 The Double Butt Splash (Our personal favourite Wrestling hold)
6 Ring Rust
5 A Fireman’s Double
4 The Bear Hug
3 A Jawbreaker
2 The House Of Pain
1 Barely Legal

These are all official wrestling terms that you can look up for yourself & try out accordingly with your current shag – there is nothing queer going on here it is the ultimate macho redneck sport it is just a shame we are all tittering behind their backs and our minds wonder elsewhere when we here the commentator refer to a ‘Wheelbarrow Facebuster’ or a ‘Two Handed Bulldog’ and don’t get us started on the Hung choking positions’ & the ‘Reverse Ring Anaconda’ move.

Master

Written by Paul Stag

Paul is an international porn star and a long time editor for Alphatribe magazine.

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