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Christians about homosexuality

Evangelical christian idiots and right-wing nut jobs pick out the bits of the bible that suit them. They slap their own interpretation on them and happily ignore the rest to ensure their ignorant life views stack up. Homosexuality is constantly attacked by these people, and the bible is usually sited as the reason.

Israel Folau, Australia’s leading international rugby player tweeted not so long ago that ‘Hell awaits homosexuals’ according to his religious beliefs. Just after, the UK’s Billy Vunipola noted on Instagram that ‘man was made for woman to procreate’, a comment again based on his religious beliefs. While both have been sacked, they remain unrepentant (a sin they choose to ignore). 

The bible is made up of over 2,000 chapters of which just six (known as the trouble verses) refer to gays in any way whatsoever. All of them are as vague as hell and selective in their interpretation. The rugby players’ repeated comments (and selectivity of their bible reading shows) that they want to ignore the majority of the ‘good book’ – probably because it doesn’t help further their personal anti-gay agenda. 

Let’s take a new look at the bible so you’re well-equipped when you meet one of these ignorant ball carriers:

  1. The bible was written over a 263-year period by 43 separate writers who collected the stories. At best it is a compilation of the writers’ thoughts and opinions, and the folk stories and fireside tales they heard.
  2. The Book of Leviticus states that man should not touch a pig carcass… What are rugby balls made of? Or commit injury to another man…. another problem for the rugby players.
  3. The bible also forbids the eating of shellfish. But let’s ignore this lunacy in favour of the anti-gay statements.
  4. Also forbidden by the bible is the wearing of mixed fabrics. Except for the nudists, we’re all going to hell! This bible is really fit for the 21st century don’t you think? Let’s hold every word of it as gospel (but only if it helps our homophobic views).
  5. Do not bear a grudge against anyone is one of the bible’s clearest and most unambiguous statements… unless you’re a rugby player (or other bigot) who hates the gays. 
  6. Evangelicals believe that a burning bush can talk and that a boat can hold two of every animal. Let’s face it, they may not be the world’s greatest intellects, but this fiction rules their lives. That’s fine if it makes them feel good and gets them through the day happily. But they do like to insist that everyone lives life based on their interpretation of the text. The laws of the Jedi and the Marvel Universe have a better base than these guys.
  7. The bible also states that you are not allowed to sell land, reap to the edge of a field, or eat anything with fat on it. There’s a lot of other total nonsense, but feel free to ignore it while you focus on the six foggy references to gay men. You can’t ignore those!
  8. There are several references in the bible to gay relationships amongst its characters. But the right-wing nut jobs prefer to ignore them in favour of the sections that agree with their twisted views (and probably help them to repress their own gay sexuality).
  9. The bible clearly states that all men should be circumcised. That’s half the world in hell right there! Women should not talk in church (bad news for all those female clergy, including some female bishops now). So it goes on with a lot of nonsense that is ignored by everyone. Especially those two rugby players who have ignored the bit about giving away possessions (they both have millions of dollars in the bank). And they forgot that ‘thou shall not shave the side of your head’ (both have), and ‘you shall not be adulterous out of wedlock’ (both had children outside of marriage). And according to Deuteronomy, thou shall not get drunk (there are pics from 2016 of one of these players being carried out of a night club pissed). But don’t miss the ‘trouble verses’ – these are the only six that are important!
  10. The word homosexuality did not appear until 1946, so its use by bible bashers makes them look like total fuckwits. God does not hate gays and never did. According to the bible, he does not hate anyone. It is just the ignorant and uneducated gobshite’s selective interpretation of what they want to hear. But they use the bible to beat LBGT+ people down. And after 2,000 years, we believe it’s time to stop. If you are going to believe in scriptures or holy books, you must believe all of them. Otherwise you are a dumbass hypocrite. Religion makes a lot of people happy, but when it is used to oppress it should be condemned unequivocally.

Master

Written by Paul Stag

Paul is an international porn star and a long time editor for Alphatribe magazine.

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