Top Gun

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Yes, it’s back on this list for a third time. Has there ever been a straight scene that has looked gayer than the two-minute beach volleyball scene here? The all-male military teams are just in their Speedos, oiled up, suntanned, and with loads of visible sweat in front of 30 topless hairy dudes. The macho bonding is off the hook. So let’s all put our arms around each other and have the inevitable butt slapping. So, so straight – not! If we were making an out and out gay film we would veto this scene as too blatantly and obviously gay. We are not sure that all members of the American military are gay but it seems that most of them do have a healthy interest in their colleagues asses judging from this film. The song playing in this scene is by 80s rocker Kenny ‘Footloose’ Loggins and it’s called ‘Playing with the Boys’!!!!!! Give us strength! Look away now, nothing queer going on here.

Written by Kenneth Mills

Kenneth is webmaster and graphic designer for Alphatribe

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