If you are a bottom then prepare (or ‘dress for dinner’ as douching is known as in polite ‘Downton Abbey-esque’ circles). Bottom porn stars begin planning their food intake two days prior to being deep drilled by Jay Red or Tim Kruger. They have specific douching routines which they have built up over time and that work for them. (There are two extensive guides to douching available in previous editions of Alphatribe – you can find them all on our website.) Getting dirt on a top’s dick is likely to stop the fucking and put you and him out of action. And he won’t be coming back to your dirty unprepared hole anytime soon. It’s also an unpleasant smell for your fellow darkroom deviants.