All his movies (3/10)

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Tom has been topless in every one of his 50 movies except Valkyrie (see below) and Collateral (where he is clearly out-hunked by Jason Statham). In the 80s, fans joked that Tom Cruise could never keep his shirt on: “Woh! Look its fallen off again”. This is for his female fans we guess, but it does no harm to his gay following either. Anyway, we are not complaining. With Mission Impossible 7 and 8 just announced, we expect one to be subtitled ‘Tom gets some shirt buttons’ and the other ‘Tom buys a belt’. Whatever they are called, expect this guy in his late 50s to get his kit off in both.

Written by Kenneth Mills

Kenneth is webmaster and graphic designer for Alphatribe

Rock of Ages (2/10)

South Park (4/10)